Season 3
22 episodes · Jul 10, 2001
In this hilarious third season, the Griffin family faces all-new dilemmas, including Brian's unintentional foray into directing porn, Stewie's rants on national TV, Meg's date with a nudist and Lois' Yuletide insanity. Meanwhile, Peter is surprised to discover Lois was once a groupie, and his son, Chris, is more "endowed" than he is.
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S3E1The Thin White Line (1)
Jul 11, 200123mBrian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.
S3E2Brian Does Hollywood (2)
Jul 18, 200123mBrian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.
S3E3Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
Jul 25, 200123mThe tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.
S3E4One If by Clam, Two If by Sea
Aug 1, 200123mWhen a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.
S3E5And the Wiener Is...
Aug 8, 200123mPeter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the "cool" gang's wrath.
S3E6Death Lives
Aug 15, 200123mAfter a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.
S3E7Lethal Weapons
Aug 22, 200123mNew Yorkers invade the town in the fall; Lois hones her martial-arts skills.
S3E8The Kiss Seen Around the World
Aug 29, 200123mMeg lands an internship working with the school nerd at a television station.
S3E10Fish Out of Water
Sep 19, 200123mWhen Peter decides to become a fisherman, he takes out a large loan to buy a fishing boat and unwittingly gives up everything he owns as collateral.
S3E11Emission Impossible
Oct 8, 200123mLois' pregnant sister inspires her and Peter to have another baby.
S3E12To Love and Die in Dixie
Nov 15, 200123mThe Griffins are put into the witness protection program.
S3E13Screwed the Pooch
Nov 29, 200123mPeter and Lois go to the Pewterschmidts for the weekend, bringing Brian along. Brian, meanwhile, has some "issues" of his own to work out. Find out if Brian's future is to make puppies or become "less" than he is.
S3E14Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?
Dec 6, 200123mWhile trying to teach Chris about his Irish roots, Peter stumbles upon Nate Griffin, a black man in his family tree. Peter tries to embrace his new-found heritage, but can’t quite get the hang of it. When Lois’ father, Carter Pewtershmidt, sits the Griffin kids down for a look at his family genealogy, a dark secret is uncovered.
S3E15Ready, Willing, and Disabled
Dec 20, 200123mJoe gets discouraged, losing his self-confidence, after he loses a thief in a chase. Peter wants to help Joe get back to his old self so he volunteers to help train him for the decathlon at the Olympics for handicapped athletes. Peter puts steroids into Joe's drink, pushing Joe on to victory. Meanwhile, Stewie, Meg, and Brian fight over $26.
S3E16A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
Dec 21, 200123mChristmas comes to Quahog! While Lois attempt to make the holidays perfect for the Griffin family, Peter messes it up. Meanwhile, Stewie learns of Santa Claus’ ability to keep 24-hour surveillance on all the world’s children.
S3E17Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
Jan 17, 200223mBrian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.
S3E18From Method to Madness
Jan 24, 200223mStewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.
S3E19Stuck Together, Torn Apart
Jan 31, 200223mPeter's jealously forces a trial separation; Stewie and Brian get glued together.
S3E20Road to Europe
Feb 7, 200223mStewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.
S3E21Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
Feb 14, 200223mViewer mail inspires three stories in which Peter loses his bones, the Griffins gain superpowers, and Peter and his friends appear as eight-year-old "Little Rascals."
S3E22When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
Dec 10, 200423mThe day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.