Season 3
25 episodes · Sep 15, 1998
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S3E1Death of a Propane Salesman
Sep 15, 199822mHank and Luanne survive the Mega Lo Mart explosion, but Buckley is no more. Hank finds that he is scared of propane, and tries to figure out how to deal with his fear of dying. Meanwhile, Luanne, who lost all her hair in the explosion, decides to become an activist like Sinead O'Connor.
S3E2And They Call It Bobby Love
Sep 22, 199822mBobby starts dating Marie, a girl who's two years older than him. Bobby takes the relationship more seriously than Marie does, and is heartbroken when she dances with other guys. Marie decides to "move on" leaving Bobby an emotional wreck. Meanwhile, Hank and the guys find an abandoned couch in the alley, and grow to depend on it.
S3E3Peggy's Headache
Oct 6, 199822mWhen Peggy starts writing "musings" for the local newspaper, the pressure gives her a headache, so she goes to John Redcorn for a therapeutic massage. When she finds out that Dale's wife Nancy is having an affair with John Redcorn, she is so horrified that she decides to tell Dale about it.
S3E4Pregnant Paws
Oct 13, 199822mHank wants to breed Ladybird, but the veterinarian says that she has a narrow uterus and probably can't have children. Hank becomes obsessed with finding a way to get Ladybird pregnant, which annoys Peggy, because she's the one who really wants another baby. Meanwhile, Dale becomes a bounty hunter and is assigned to hunt down a man with several unpaid parking tickets. He decides that he needs a hound to accompany him on his first bounty, so he nabs Ladybird, to Hank's horror.
S3E5Next of Shin
Nov 3, 199822mHank tries several different methods to improve his sperm count so he can get Peggy pregnant. The frustration of not being able to have another child becomes worse when Cotton shows up and announces that he got his wife pregnant. But Cotton becomes so nervous at the prospect of having a baby at his age that he flees to Las Vegas, and Hank, Bill and Dale go after him.
S3E6Peggy's Pageant Fever
Nov 10, 199822mA beauty pageant offers Peggy the chance to win a truck. If she can endure a series of rigorous makeovers to impress the judges.
S3E7Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men
Nov 17, 199822mHank is outraged when he attends a lawn mower focus group and discovers that the new model of his favorite mower has been turned into an upgraded "yuppified" version.
S3E8Good Hill Hunting
Dec 1, 199822mAll the kids in the neighborhood are going on their first hunt, but Hank is unable to get a hunting license for him and Bobby. Bobby is so upset about being denied the chance at a rite of passage that he starts to regress into acting like a little kid. Hank reluctantly decides to take Bobby hunting at the La Grunta Resort.
S3E9Pretty, Pretty Dresses
Dec 15, 199822mAt Christmastime, Bill becomes even more depressed than usual, because it's the anniversary of when his wife Lenore left him. Bill tries to commit suicide, and when that doesn't work out, he dresses up in Lenore's old clothes and declares that he is Lenore.
S3E10A Firefighting We Will Go
Jan 12, 199922mHank and his friends become volunteer firefighters. They manage to wreck a fire hydrant, ruin a funeral, and finally burn down the Arlen firehouse. When the Fire Captain comes to ask what happened, the trio turns the story around to match each of their scenarios.
S3E11To Spank, with Love
Jan 19, 199922mAfter being taunted and pantsed by one of her students, Peggy loses it and spanks him. She is immediately fired, but Cotton and his old buddies start a campaign to get "Paddlin' Peggy" reinstated. Once she is back teaching, Peggy uses her reputation for violence to scare her students, and takes things too far, in true Peggy fashion.
S3E12Three Coaches and a Bobby
Jan 26, 199922mHank gets his tough old football coach to lead Bobby's football team. When the coach proves to be a tyrant, Bobby decides to quit football and join the soccer team, much to Hank's disappointment. Meanwhile, Peggy tries to fit in with the other soccer moms, and takes a crash course from Minh on Soccer-mom etiquette.
S3E13De-Kahnstructing Henry
Feb 2, 199922mKahn gets a great new job and invites Hank over to the office, hoping to make him jealous. While bragging about his job, Kahn gives away government secrets, swearing Hank to secrecy. Hank talks to Bill about Kahn's job, and Kahn gets fired for it.
S3E14The Wedding of Bobby Hill
Feb 9, 199922mAngry that Luanne cost him his job house-sitting Boomhauer's house, Bobby replaces her birth control pills with candy.
S3E15Sleight of Hank
Feb 16, 199922mHank and Peggy go to a magic show where Peggy gets to be the volunteer in the best trick. Hank tries to figure out how the trick was done, and Peggy won't tell him. Meanwhile, Bobby is looking for a way to liven up his Sunday School report on Jesus, and when he sees the magician, he incorporates some of the tricks and patter into the report, calling it "The Amazing Jesus."
S3E16Jon Vitti Presents: "Return to La Grunta"
Feb 23, 199922mHank gets Luanne a job as a golf course drink girl at the La Grunta resort. In gratitude, Luanne gets Hank a chance to swim with a dolphin. Hank pets the dolphin, and the dolphin becomes aroused and tries to become sexually intimate with him. In return for his silence, the hotel pays him off, and Hank tells Luanne never to talk about what happened. Luanne gets sexually harassed by one of the golfers, she decides to follow Hank's example and not talk about it.
S3E17Escape from Party Island
Mar 16, 199922mHank takes his mother and her friends to a museum of miniatures in Port Aransas, and they get stuck in the middle of MTV's Spring Break. Meanwhile, Bill tries to put the moves on Peggy while Hank is away.
S3E18Love Hurts... and So Does Art
Mar 23, 199922mWorried at the prospect of going to a school dance with Connie, Bobby starts overeating at the local deli, and develops gout. Meanwhile, Hank goes to an art gallery in Dallas and finds that they are displaying an X-ray of his constipated colon.
S3E19Hank's Cowboy Movie
Apr 6, 199922mAfter Hank and Bobby visit the Dallas Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls, Hank decides to make a video that will convince the team to move their camp to Arlen.
S3E20Dog Dale Afternoon
Apr 13, 199922mWhen Dale brings home a new 'Super Mower' the neighbors are jealous, but his attitude leaves everyone with a bad taste in their mouths. To knock him down a few notches, the crew decides to hide his new mower, & make it look like a conspiracy, Peggy gets involved and it goes too far. Dale gets pushed over the edge & it is Hank that goes to help him back down.
S3E21Revenge of the Lutefisk
Apr 20, 199922mArlen's new minister is a woman, which everyone except Cotton seems to accept. When Bobby eats all of a Midwestern fish dish prepared by the minister, it somehow leads to him accidentally burning down the church. Everyone assumes that Cotton did it, and he is arrested for a hate crime.
S3E22Death and Texas
Apr 27, 199922mPeggy gets a letter from a Death Row convict who says that he is a former student of hers, and that she had the most positive impact on his life. She starts visiting him in prison and bringing him what she thinks is timer sand for Boggle -- not realizing that it's actually cocaine. Meanwhile, Dale wants to become an executioner.
S3E23Wings of the Dope
May 4, 199922mWhile studying for her beauty school exam, Luanne sees someone bouncing on Buckley's old trampoline. It's Buckley, who has come back as an angel. Hank and Peggy think Luanne was hallucinating after using too many hair-dying chemicals, but Hank's friends come to believe in the existence of Buckley's Angel. But Luanne finds that Buckley isn't much more help to her as an angel than he was when he was alive.
S3E24Take Me Out of the Ball Game
May 11, 199922mWhen Thaterton stacks his Company softball team with Pro sports stars, Hank pulls Peggy off of her own Softball team to become the Ace pitcher for Strickland Propane. Unfortunately, Hank's over-managing causes her to lose her stuff, and cause her to lose the love for the sport.
S3E25As Old as the Hills...
May 18, 199922mPeggy and Hank's 20th-anniversary party leaves the missus missing their youth; and a bottle of tequila is the highlight of their private revelry.