Onion News Network

Season 2

10 episodes · Oct 3, 2011

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  • S2E1

    Asteroid Heads to Earth

    Oct 4, 2011

    With a giant asteroid expected to hit Earth on October 4th, the Onion News Network has announced it will continue broadcasting until the moment the planet is destroyed.

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  • S2E2

    Missing Baby Kate

    Oct 11, 2011

    Cross Examination's Shelby Cross leads a crusade to rip through every home in America to search for missing one-year-old Baby Kate. In the FactZone, Brooke and the ONN team reveal an extremist obese society's foiled attempts to kidnap Michelle Obama and O'Brady Shaw takes a drunk driving victim's death so personally that the victim's family must take a break from their own grief to comfort O'Brady. In other news, reports show that the iPhone 5 will come conveniently packaged with rumors about the iPhone 6.

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  • S2E3

    Fantasy Brainwall

    Oct 18, 2011

    FactZone introduces its newest piece of technology: an updated touchscreen that Tucker can control with his mind. Unfortunately for Tucker, the new "Brainwall" starts to display Tucker's darkest thoughts. Also, O'Brady's compassion for stray earthquake victims goes a little too far, when he starts "mercifully" killing dogs to relieve them after the disaster. Brooke reports on a coma-bound Republican Presidential candidate who is polling surprisingly well due to his lack of politically disastrous gaffes, and Rapper Kanye West faces down the nation of Syria in a Twitter battle over who was chanting first.

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  • S2E4

    Dead Reporter

    Oct 25, 2011

    FactZone says goodbye to legendary newsman, Brandon Armstrong, who was killed in a brothel fire. Shelby Cross admonishes parents not to let their children trick-or-treat during Halloween, or what she refers to as the "Pedophiles' Christmas." Autistic Reporter, Michael Falk, asks the tough questions about a search and rescue mission's dismal chances of finding missing hikers and the First Responders react to the latest GOP debate, that they may or may not have even watched.

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  • S2E5

    Exposed, Brooke Alvarez

    Nov 1, 2011

    A revealing documentary airs on public television about Brooke Alvarez's secret life as a Russian child cosmonaut . Brooke is forced to relive the traumatizing experience of being trapped in a space shuttle with a vicious chimpanzee named Mr. Dmitry. Also, the U.S. government hires the genius behind Zico coconut water to try to help America out of its economic hole and a prostitute is caught paying Mitt Romney for sex.

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  • S2E6

    Today Now! Special

    Nov 11, 2011

    The network morning show stages a very special takeover.

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  • S2E7

    Sex in America

    Nov 18, 2011

    A report on sex in America.

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  • S2E8

    Artificial Intelligence

    Nov 25, 2011

    The studio gains artificial intelligence and falls in love with Brooke, millions across the country are dangerously trapped in an Animal Hoarders marathon, and Jean Anne Whorton investigates the cruel underground blood sport of spouse fighting.

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  • S2E9

    Brooke vs. O'Brady

    Dec 2, 2011

    O'Brady Shaw joins Brooke on FactZone as her cohost to promote his new special "The Cries of the Children." A loud woman accountant is bothering the whole nation with her grating chatter. And a new weight loss drug is being released onto the market that curbs eating by making the user hallucinate that their food is a swarm of vicious, bloodthirsty monsters.

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  • S2E10

    Year in Review

    Dec 9, 2011

    The gang looks back on 2011.

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