Season 7
196 episodes · Sep 7, 1999
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- S7E1
Kevin James, Sheryl Crow
Sep 7, 1999Dave rants about the CBS/Viacom merger; Kevin James promotes a new comedy special.
- S7E2
Ricki Lake, Kid Rock
Sep 8, 1999Dave tries to call Sumner Redstone's office, then persuades Ricki Lake to make a crank call to Oprah.
- S7E3
Craig Kilborn, Louise Smith, The Umbilical Brothers
Sep 9, 1999Craig Kilborn promotes some talk show that comes on after Dave's.
- S7E4
Queen Latifah, John Popper
Sep 10, 1999John Popper sits in with the band, while Alan punches Sumner Redstone during CBS Mailbag.
- S7E5
John McEnroe, Sharon Lawrence, Nanci Griffith
Sep 13, 1999George Clarke dances in a diaper; Dave shows a ""highlight"" from last night's Emmy win: a clip of Rob Burnett kissing his wife at the ceremony (he forgot last year).
- S7E6
Kid Scientists, Edie Falco, Dixie Chicks
Sep 14, 1999Andrea Sande and Nadine Hennelly help Joe G's with a Y2K Inspection. They pass, of course.
- S7E7
John Leguizamo, Meat Loaf
Sep 15, 1999Throughout the night, staffer Brian Donahue falls down staircases. Later, Meatloaf promotes ""Crazy in Alabama.""
- S7E8
Jenna Elfman, Chris Kattan, Christine Aguilera
Sep 16, 1999With the possibility of a rare hurricane hitting New York City, Paul checks for ""talk show closings"" and Dave comes on stage in a poncho and galoshes. Meanwhile, Jenna Elfman hijacks Anton's drumset, and Christina Aguilera performs ""What a Girl Wants.""
- S7E9
Heather Locklear, Keyshawn Johnson
Sep 17, 1999During CBS Mailbag, Alan threatens to beat up Secretary of the Treasury Lawrence Summers, but he goes to his anger management counselor instead.
- S7E10
Michael J. Fox, Heather French
Sep 20, 1999Joe Haden fills in for Alan; Warren Zevon fills in for Paul; Rupert walks over to the CBS Store and reviews the new fall shows on CBS.
- S7E11
Robin Williams, Norm MacDonald
Sep 21, 1999Paul and a local high schooler try their best to learn how to parallel park, while Robin Williams promotes ""Bicentennial Man.""
- S7E12
Stupid Pet Tricks, Ashley Judd, Randy Travis
Sep 22, 1999Alan, Regis, Bill Delace, and Mike McIntee portray members of the audience during ""Who Asked For It?""; Ashley Judd promotes ""Double Jeopardy.""
- S7E13
Mark Wahlberg, Adam Sandler, Roger Ebert
Sep 23, 1999Dave announces that next year, the show will be rechristened ""Late Show 2000,"" while Roger Ebert promotes his revamped talk show.
- S7E14
Kelly Preston, Stirling Moss, Sugar Ray
Sep 24, 1999During CBS Mailbag, Harold Larkin comments on body piercing, while Dave ""appears"" in a Gap commercial.
- S7E15
Kevin Pollak, Tom Waits
Sep 27, 1999Biff gives a blanket to a cold audience girl; Chewy the Dog looks for truffles; Tom Waits sings with a bullhorn.
- S7E16
Nathan Lane, Emmylou Harris & Linda Rondstadt
Sep 28, 1999Nadine, Andrea, Sirajul (but not Mujibur) and Joe G. play ""Who Wants to Win a Giant Phony Check for $1,000,000?"" Later, Alan promotes a film he just produced called ""For the Ladies"" (which turns out to be weightlifting porn flick).
- S7E17
Mia Farrow, Russell Crowe, Paula Cole Band
Sep 29, 1999Dave tells another dentist-related horror story; in ""New for Fall,"" Mujibur and Sirajul star in the Bollywood musical ""Basanta Gan Gaibay""; Evander Holyfield presents the Top Ten, but Lennox Lewis interupts to introduce #1.
- S7E18
Kevin Spacey, Eurythmics
Sep 30, 1999Kevin Spacey promotes ""American Beauty,"" then gives Dave a bag of Presidential M&M's. Later, Harold Larkin tells one of the ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"": He walks into a mysterious closet backstage, falls into a black hole, then walks out in a nonchalant fashion.
- S7E19
Kelsey Grammer, Rebecca Gayheart
Oct 1, 1999Alan's angry because he's not allowed to punch anybody; Dave goes berzerk adjusting his tie; Alan beats up writer Joe Toplyn under Mujibur and Sirajul's supervision.
- S7E20
Harrison Ford, David Bowie
Oct 4, 1999""Biff Henderson's America"" spends four days in Turkey, Texas; David Bowie performs ""Thursday's Child.""
- S7E21
Dan Quayle, Melissa Ethridge
Oct 5, 1999Mujibur and Sirajul sample food at Hello Deli; an ad for ""Late Show on Tour,"" with Jackie Mason playing Dave; In honor of tonight's guest, Dave announces that he will no longer make any more jokes relating to Dan Quayle.
- S7E22
Lili Tomlin, Leah Remini, Beth Hart
Oct 6, 1999Tonight's edition of ""True Stories of the Late Show Stagehands"" finds Pat and Kenny in a plane crash over the Andes, where they're reduced to cannibalism.
- S7E23
Jesse Ventura, Amy Brennamen, ZZ Top
Oct 7, 1999A 100-year-old man presents the Top Ten; Biff waits on the fire escape by 53rd street and yells to President Clinton's motorcade that he has snacks.
- S7E24
Jack Hanna, Peter Fonda, Sting
Oct 8, 19991999: During CBS Mailbag, Pat Farmer presents ""Great Pats throughout History."" Later, Sting performs ""Brand New Day.""
- S7E25
Bruce Willis, Will Ferrell
Oct 11, 1999Carole King sits in with Paul, then sings a duet with Bruce Willis.
- S7E26
Chazz Palminteri, Billy Blanks, Wilson Pickett
Oct 12, 1999Joe G. joins Mujibur and Sirajul to play ""Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?"" Later, Billy Blanks does a Tae-bo demonstration.
- S7E27
Farrah Fawcett
Oct 13, 1999The outside cam presents Paul Fiore's driver's test in New Jersey, with commentary by Biff and pictures from the WCBS-TV helicopter. When he finishes the test, a babe presents him flowers and Gov. Christine Todd Whitman presents Paul's license.
- S7E28
John Malkovich, Harland Williams
Oct 14, 1999Warren Zevon fills in for Paul yet again; Dave wants to say the s-word ""because they did on ‘Chicago Hope,'"" tries it, and gets beeped; Biff gives Yankees tickets to an audience member.
- S7E29
Austin Payne, Patricia Arquette, Moby
Oct 15, 1999During CBS Mailbag, Alan Kalter promotes his Millenium Party, which looks like a disaster in the making. Later, Dave presents ""Top Ten Things That Sound Creepy When Said by John Malkovich.""
- S7E30
Charles Grodin, Jimmie Walker, Buena Vista Social Club
Oct 25, 1999Paul and Dave talk about the band's weekend gig at the White House; for his latest World Series report, Biff interviews, amongst others, Evander Holyfield and John Rocker; the octogenarian stars of the hit documentary ""The Buena Vista Social Club"" perform.
- S7E31
John Cusack, Bob Sarlatte, LeAnn Rimes
Oct 26, 1999Dave shows a clip from the recently cancelled CBS sitcom Work With Me. Later, David Diaz of WCBS-TV beats up a punk during an on-the-street report.
- S7E32
Martha Stewart, Martin Scorcese, Ricky Martin
Oct 27, 1999Martha Stewart makes Halloween treats; Jets QB Vinny Testaverde helps with the annual ""Halloween Costumes"" segment.
- S7E33
Joe Torre, Denzel Washington
Oct 28, 1999Security boss Bill DeLace disrupts last night's Gore-Bradley debate; your 1999 World Champion New York Yankees present the Top Ten; Denzel Washington plugs ""The Bone Collector.""
- S7E34
Meryl Streep, Natalie Merchant
Oct 29, 1999Dave shows a dumb picture of him outside, then gets marksman Armando Aiello to shoot paint balls at it; Dave disses Harmony Korine, who made some choice comments after getting bumped the other night; Mike McIntee and Bill DeLace guard the world's largest pumpkin (1131 pounds).
- S7E35
Luke Perry, Jimmy Kimmel, Garbage
Nov 1, 1999Dave tells a lengthy Halloween candy story, then incorporates his voice into the talking dog from those ""Taco Bell"" commercials.
- S7E36
Lauren Holly, Jimmy Fallon, Rage Against the Machine
Nov 2, 1999Dave says hello to all the folks in King's Height Rest Home in New York; Rage Against the Machine performs ""War Within a Breath"" on the roof in pouring rain.
- S7E37
Bill Cosby, Milla Jovovich
Nov 3, 199914-year-old music prodigy Shannon Kerman sits in; Paul's most vivid memory of this year's World Series is reinterpreted by Martin Scorsese and Ricky Martin; after Mujibur and Sirajul play ""Where Can I Get a Decent Meal in This Town?"" at the trendy Ranch 1 restuarant, Biff brings in fried chicken, an item that they claimed they didn't have.
- S7E38
Susan Sarandon, Juan Montoya, East Harlem Violinists
Nov 4, 1999A cannon called the Alludium 2000 Pumpkin Modulator, along with its operator Max Teasdale, wait to launch a giant pumpkin into orbit on 53rd Street. Also, Roberta Glasspari and The East Harlem Violinists (subjects of the film ""Music of the Heart"") perform with soloist Mark O'Connor.
- S7E39
Regis Philbin, Mitch Hedberg
Nov 5, 1999Live via satellite, a lone microphone stands in the sun for an open mike night in the Mojave Desert. Also, Dr. Lou Arrone gives flu shots to the audience.
- S7E40
Woody Harrelson, Bobby Rahal
Nov 8, 1999NYC Marathon winners Joseph Chebet (of Kenya) and Adrianna Fernandez (of Mexico) run across the stage; Dave mentions that staff members Jay Johnson, Fred Dhimizu and Patty McDonald ran in the same marathon; Kenny Sheehan performs in the Broadway revival of ""Annie.""
- S7E41
Don Rickles, Jane Clayson
Nov 9, 1999Dave mentions that he's #64 on Entertainment Weekly's list of 100 Greatest Entertainers (inbetween Joni Mitchell and Jim Carrey); live via satellite, it's another Open Mic Night in the Mojave Desert; Boots Randolph sits in on sax; Jane Clayson plugs ""The Early Show.""
- S7E42
Jack Hanna, Bob Hoskins, Melanie C
Nov 10, 1999Dave announces the premiere of ""Good Old-Fashioned Fun,"" which includes Harold Larkin making a snow angel in mayonnaise and Mujibur and Sirajul racing to the death in a soap box derby. Later, former Spice Girl Melanie C sings ""I Turn To You.""
- S7E43
Natalie Portman, Travis Pastrana, Ted Alexandro
Nov 11, 1999Dave shows a tape of stunt biker/scheduled guest Travis Pastrana's mishap that afternoon, and the injured daredevil later hobbles onstage. By the end of the show, the Hi-Ho Girls are helping Travis repair his bike.
- S7E44
Stupid Human Tricks, Johnny Depp
Nov 12, 1999Jay Johnson gives a tour of the set of ""The Early Show with Bryant Gumbel and Jane Clayson."" Also, Dr. Lou Arrone does his seasonal audience flu shots.
- S7E45
Claudia Schiffer, Chris Cornell
Nov 15, 1999Dave shows a clip that shows that even though he's only been on the network for two weeks, but there's already trouble on Bryant Gumbel's Early Show. Midway through an interview, a guy accidentally has his arm cut off. Later, Dave and Claudia Schiffer blow up chestnuts in a microwave oven.
- S7E46
Will Smith, Creed
Nov 16, 1999Dave looks over the 2000 Places Rated Almanac, and then calls Donald Green, the mayor of Kankakee, Illinois, the city which rated lowest. As a condolence, Dave presents the mayor with a gazebo, courtesy of ""Gazebo Weekly.""
- S7E47
Anthony Edwards, Yasmine Bleeth
Nov 17, 1999During a segment called ""What They're Doing to Boost Their Ratings,"" magician John Bundy makes a cue card disappear.
- S7E48
Evander Holyfield, Ted Danson, Counting Crows
Nov 18, 1999Ted Danson plugs ""Becker,"" while Dave demands that #5 in the Top Ten be rewritten at the last minute.
- S7E49
Gabriel Byrne, Mark Borchardt
Nov 19, 1999Gabriel Bryne plugs ""End of Days,"" while Dave says hi to Mark Borchardt's friend Mike.
- S7E50
Bryant Gumbel, John Carpenter, Tony Bennett
Nov 22, 1999Dave, Bill DeLace, Pat Farmer, Biff, intern Laura McCloud, Mike McIntee, Harold Larkin, Paul, Tommy Gordon, and George Clarke comment on ""What They're Thankful For.""
- S7E51
Kathie Lee Gifford, Charlotte Church
Nov 23, 1999Tony Mendez and Bill DeLace star in the new CBS midseason replacement series ""Next Time Bring Your Sister, You Hump."" Also, Kathie Lee Gifford delivers a turkey to Dave.
- S7E52
Julianna Margulies, Eric Ripert, Third Eye Blind
Nov 24, 1999""Biff Henderson's America"" visits the ranching community of Meeteetse, WY.
- S7E53
George Carlin, Jewel
Nov 25, 1999Live via satellite from Indianapolis, Mrs. Dorothy Letterman stands in her kitchen while Dave guesses what pies she baked for Thanksgiving. Afterwards, Dorothy shows her refrigerator is loaded with bottle after bottle of Colt 45® malt liquor.
- S7E54
Stupid Pet Tricks, William Baldwin
Nov 26, 1999A dog that fetches beer appears on ""Stupid Human Tricks""; Dave rants that all the other talk shows are copying the aforementioned segment; another Open Mic Night in the Mohave Desert turns up nothing; Rudy Giuliani presents the Top Ten.
- S7E55
Barbara Walter, Dan Patrick, Mary J. Blige
Nov 29, 1999During the segment ""The Best and Worst of the Millennium,"" an image of Sam Donaldson's eyebrows suddenly comes to life. Also, during tonight's Open Mic in the Mojave Desert, a technician tests the open mike and adjusts the height.
- S7E56
Jenny McCarthy, Martha Stewart, Foo Fighters
Nov 30, 1999Dave announces Monica Lewinsky is dating a former LSDL writer; a customer at Joe G's becomes the subject of his own ""E! True Hollywood Story""; Jenny McCarthy plugs ""Scream 3.""
- S7E57
Tim Robbins, Laetitia Casta, B.B. King & Dr. John
Dec 1, 1999Glen Campbell sits in; Dave discusses the list of good and bad cities that he mentioned on the show last month, then checks in with Kankakee, IL mayor Donald Green, who receives another gazebo from Dave; Tim Robbins gets clobbered playing ice hockey.
- S7E58
Patrick Stewart, Al Franken, Bob Marley
Dec 2, 1999For the umpteenth time this year, Dave orders Inky to spit out his gum; in honor of the Pokemon craze, Dave and the audience play ""Know Your Japanese Cartoon Crap.""
- S7E62
Danny DeVito, Harry Smith
Dec 15, 1999Throughout the night, various members of the Philadelphia Flyers shoot pucks at a cardboard cutout of Dave. Also, the Turkish guy has been promoted to stagehand.
- S7E69
Matt Damon, Q-Tip
Dec 27, 1999Feeling a little warm, Dave takes off his coat and does most of the show in just his shirt and tie; in ""Who Asked For It?"" Patrick Stewart and the Taco Bell chihuahua star in ""A Christmas Carol;"" Biff performs a holiday-themed duet with a cardboard cutout of Celine Dion.
- S7E82
Tom Arnold, Art Donovan, Lynryd Skynryd
Jan 13, 2000Dave thanks Rob Burnett for landing Hillary Clinton on the show; Art Donovan plays ping pong with the disgusting Turkish guy; Lynyrd Skynard performs ""Sweet Home Alabama.""
- S7E83
Regis Philbin, Mark Borchardt
Jan 14, 2000Regis comes out for his interview with the disgusting Turkish guy, and later Dave tells him he's scheduled for an angiogram tomorrow morning.
- S7E84
Charles Grodin, Julia Roberts, Regis Philbin
Feb 7, 2000It's the debut of Late Show Backstage, a clip show hosted tonight by Charles Grodin while Dave recovers from his quintuple-bypass surgery three weeks before. Amongst the highlights: Charles chats with Julia Roberts, Dave's interview with J.Ro from May 17, 1999, a Top Ten list from John Malkovich (see Show #1307), and to cap the night, Charles and surprise guest Regis Philbin.
- S7E85
Regis Philbin, Jerry Seinfeld, Danny DeVito
Feb 8, 2000""Backstage,"" Day 2: Regis is now sitting in a whole new ""hot seat"" as the clip show's second host in as many nights. Tonight, he chats with Jerry Seinfeld, who introduces footage of Dave doing the Top Ten without pants, and Danny DeVito, who for one reason or another shows a clip from Taxi.
- S7E86
Paul Schaffer, Bruce Willis, Martin Short
Feb 9, 2000Backstage #3: Paul appears on the Late Show for the first time since Dave's surgery, sitting on a movie set with Bruce Willis and his old friend Martin Short. Amongst tonight's clips: Bruce doing various stunts; Casey Kasem presents the Top Ten (see Show #0005); Dave makes crank phone calls (also Show #0005); Martin Short sings a selection from the musical Little Me.
- S7E87
Regis Philbin, Bill Cosby, Sarah Jessica Parker
Feb 10, 2000Backstage, Day 4: Regis hosts again, chatting with Bill Cosby, Sarah Jessica Parker, and ""the great"" Pat Farmer. Amongst the clips: Bill goes to the balcony via a ladder; a Top Ten featuring Barry White; Dave and Sarah mingle with Kid Scientists.
- S7E88
Paul Schaffer, Steve Martin, Billy Crystal
Feb 11, 2000Backstage, Day 5: Paul hosts again, this time with Dave's buddies Steve Martin and Billy Crystal. Amongst the clips: Steve mans a projector to show a clip from his latest movie (see Show #0499); the Top Ten list from the fifth anniversary special, with Jerry Seinfeld escorting Dave's mom onstage; Dave hangs out with Olympic judges (see Show #0963). At the end of the show, Paul and Billy goof around behind the scenes at The Price Is Right.
- S7E89
Paul Schaffer, Drew Barrymore, Ray Romano
Feb 14, 2000Backstage, Day 6: In the cold opening, Paul tries to hit on Drew Barrymore. Amongst the clips: Drew flashing Dave on his 48th birthday; Drew and Dave getting married one month after said clip; ten beautiful women present the Top Ten (see Show #0543); Ray Romano singing ""Silent Night"" as his kids beat each other up.
- S7E90
David Brenner, Kathie Lee Gifford, Alec Baldwin
Feb 15, 2000Backstage, Day 7: Comedian David Brenner interrogates Kathie Lee Gifford and Alec Baldwin. Tonight's clips: Dave hijacks the Butterball turkey hotline (see Show #1345); a Top Ten remote from Bill DeLace; Alec shares child-rearing tips with Dave.
- S7E91
Tom Snyder, Norm MacDonald, Don Rickles
Feb 16, 2000Backstage, Day 8: Former ""Tomorrow"" and ""Late Late Show"" host Tom Snyder trades a bon mot or two with Norm MacDonald and Don Rickles. Tonight's clips: Norm vents after being demoted on SNL (see Show #0936); a Top Ten from Demi Moore; Don tells Dave how he met Frank Sinatra.
- S7E92
Tom Snyder, Mike Myers, Roseanne, Bonnie Hunt
Feb 17, 2000Backstage, Day 9: Tom Snyder's still here, and this time he hosts Mike Myers, Roseanne Barr, and Bonnie Hunt. Tonight's clips: Dave shows film footage of Mike as a Canadian Cub Scout; Mike wishes his mom a happy birthday (see Show #0960); a Top Ten from James Earl Jones; Roseanne talks basketball.
- S7E93
Tom Arnold, Robin Williams, Jack Hannah
Feb 18, 2000""Backstage,"" Day 10: After chatting with Robin Williams, Tom Arnold openly comments that he's disappointed that Jack Hanna didn't bring any animals to the set. Tonight's clips: Robin storms out of the backdrop (see Show #0001); Dave meets Frisco hippie Manny Papp (see Show #0589); Dave makes baby talk with a monkey.
- S7E94
Regis Philbin, Robin Williams, Foo Fighters
Feb 21, 2000Dave introduces the surgeons that saved his life and welcomes (for the third time in two months) Regis.
- S7E95
Bill Cosby, Heidi Klum, Vince Carter, Dr. Paula Mahone, Dane Cook
Feb 22, 2000Bill Cosby opens up a box of basketball cards with Vince Carter.
- S7E96
Julia Roberts, Israel Perlman
Feb 23, 2000In his first post-surgery rant, Dave hollers about having to be driven to work for a while, and then really fumes about having to drink decaffeinated coffee; during a segment called ""How The Media Covered Dave's Surgery,"" Dave shows a (bogus) supermarket tabloid stating that he had actually given birth to quintuplets.
- S7E97
Kathie Lee Gifford, Tom Arnold, Joy Behar, Linda Edar
Feb 24, 2000Kathie Lee Gifford becomes the latest guest host to alternate with Dave while he continues to recuperate from heart surgery. Tonight, she gets heckled by an audience member who notices that she's not wearing a bra, to which she snaps back, ""Go wear a jock strap!""
- S7E98
John Goodman, Norm MacDonald
Feb 25, 2000Mailbag: George Clarke addresses the comments made about his weight problem, and Dave flashes back to when he woke up from surgery resembling Don King. Also, Hank Hill (of ""King of the Hill"") wishes Dave to get well.
- S7E99
Drew Carey, Dolly Parton
Feb 28, 2000""Biff Henderson's America"" wrecks havoc in Badger, Minnesota, while Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull performs from his new album.
- S7E100
David Brenner, Carson Daley, Aida Turturro, Gary Gulman, Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals
Feb 29, 2000David Brenner fills in for Dave and does about ten minutes of stand-up. Later, he chats with Aida Turturro of The Sopranos.
- S7E101
Kid Turkey Callers, Candice Bergan, Fiona Apple, George W. Bush
Mar 1, 2000Dave continues to rant about decaffeinated coffee; George W. Bush is interrogated live via satellite; Fiona Apple performs ""On The Bound.""
- S7E102
Nathan Lane, Mel Brooks, Mario Cantone, Kristin Chenoweth
Mar 2, 2000Nathan Lane is the latest fill-in host, and he introduces a short film about the many perks of taking over for Dave. Later, he sings a song from the musical You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown with Kristin Chenoweth.
- S7E103
Anjelica Huston, Jayson Williams, Steely Dan
Mar 3, 2000Steely Dan promotes its first album in two decades, ""Two Against Nature.""
- S7E104
Kathie Lee Gifford, Eddie Izzard
Mar 6, 2000Paul is wearing a white tailored suit tonight, prompting Dave to point out that the bandleader is the musical director of the upcoming Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. Also, Sandra and Nadine help Dave celebrate eighteen years in late night, even though the anniversary was over a month ago.
- S7E105
Janeane Garofalo, Bob Odenkirk & David Cross, Zack Galifanakis, Old '97s
Mar 7, 2000Janeane Garofalo becomes the latest guest host; ""slide whistle legend"" Bazeel sits in; Janeane does tonight's interviews sitting in a school desk placed in front of Dave's desk; Bob Odenkirk and David Cross make funny noises; Bazeel and the band performs ""Wipe Out.""
- S7E106
Tim Robbins, Melissa Etheridge
Mar 8, 2000During ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria fills in for Rob, who's too busy working on the NBC pilot Ed; Biff presents the winning contestant of tonight's ""Beat the Clock"" with the home version of the game (a checkerboard); ""Phil Carmichael"" of CBS Promotions (Bill DeLace) does a presentation on ratings stunts.
- S7E107
Dana Carvey, Jon Lovitz, Cindy Margolis, Al Frankin, Rocco DiSpirito
Mar 9, 2000Guest host Dana Carvey chats with former ""SNL"" cronies Jon Lovitz and Al Franken.
- S7E109
Gabriel Byrne, Martha Stewart, Moby
Mar 20, 2000In a remarkably lengthy edition of ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave decides not to perform a piece comparing Bush and Gore, and then rants about his cable service. Afterwards, he admits that this is his last night in television, so he introduces his family, then claims he's moving to St. Louis to work for Ralston Purina. Also, while cooking with Martha Stewart, Dave attempts to juggle eggs.
- S7E110
Matthew Broderick, Patti Smith
Mar 21, 2000Biff devours the first robin of spring; the disgusting Turkish guy disappears; Pat and Kenny toss Matthew Broderick's birthday cake off the roof.
- S7E111
Barbara Walters, Linda Cardellini, Kimmie Rhodes
Mar 22, 2000Out on 53rd Street, Biff has a hand counter to help with the ongoing US Census; Dave shows a clip of Barbara Walters making a weird facial reaction during her latest Oscar special; the Gore-Bush bit from two nights ago is finally performed in its entirety; Biff counts a total of 1,482 people in the United States.
- S7E112
Rosie Perez, Robert Klein
Mar 27, 2000Rob Burnett returns to his desk on the corner of the stage; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave comments on CBS' new slogan (""The address… is CBS"") and cracks wise on Gene Keady's hair; during the Top Ten, Dave makes a rare bald joke aimed at Paul.
- S7E113
Minnie Driver, Trisha Yearwood
Mar 28, 2000Cold opening: Dr. Henry Kissinger announces that he's Dave's latest guest host, only to learn rather abruptly that Dave isn't sick anymore. Also, Dave has Rupert make a Hello Deli's latest menu addition, the kosher-friendly ""Paul Shaffer Sandwich,"" and a few minutes later Rupert delivers it to its namesake.
- S7E114
Kid Scientists, Jimmy Smits, Bruce Cockburn
Mar 29, 2000Paul is introduced as Gaston Mazacani; Rob tells a funny story about an incident he had with a cab driver; during a segment called ""What I like about Spring,"" Alan unwittingly admits that he's on the down low.
- S7E115
John Cusack, Paul Fiora, Eddie Brill
Mar 30, 2000Dave demonstrates the ""magic"" of decaffeinated coffee by mixing food coloring in water.
- S7E116
David Arquette, Al Green
Mar 31, 2000During Campaign 2000, nobody can muster up any interesting topics, so Dave discusses Daylight Savings Time. Later, Dave brings up the recently-announced discovery that most gay men have unusual finger length, so Dave, Paul and Biff (in a dress) check their hands.
- S7E117
Brooke Shields, Oliver Platt, Joni Mitchell
Apr 3, 2000Campaign 2000: Dave finds a tick on his suit, panics, calls Dr. Lou Aronne, then shows three ticks close-up using a special camera.
- S7E118
David Duchovny, Joe Pistone, Lou Reed
Apr 4, 2000Dave announces that the show is adopting (and thus protecting) Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez; Rupert makes a Biff Henderson sandwich for Paul, but not for Biff; Dave mentions that he received a phone call from Johnny Carson shortly after his shout-out last week.
- S7E121
Jon Stewart, Faith Hill
Apr 7, 2000Actor Stephen Tobolowsky sits in; during Mailbag, we learn that Tony is Fidel Castro's estranged son; Jon Stewart tries to give Dave a human heart, and after Dave declines, Jon walks offstage and puts it back in a very annoyed Tony Randall.
- S7E123
Jenna Elfman, Jeff Altman, Children of Uganda
Apr 11, 2000Dave shows a clip of the recent live television remake of Fail Safe to demonstrate how lax CBS is at preventing profanities from being heard on-air. Also, Jenna Elfman promotes Keeping the Faith.
- S7E124
Paul Newman, Pearl Jam
Apr 12, 2000Dave announces he's 41 today because he's not counting his 12 years at NBC; during a segment called ""Job Hunting Tips,"" a barbershop quartet sings intern Bob Dickerson's resume; Richard Simmons calls up Daddy to wish him a happy birthday, and Dave promptly hangs up on him.
- S7E125
Matthew McConaughey, Kelly Monteith, Willie Nelson
Apr 13, 2000Campaign 2000: Dave honors a bald audience member. Later, Biff hands out Broadway tickets to two couples in the audience.
- S7E126
Ben Stiller, Brian Regan
Apr 14, 2000Mick Taylor of the Rolling Stones sits in; with nothing to discuss, ""Campaign 2000"" lasts exactly six seconds; during Mailbag, Dave and Paul star in the new crime drama ""Good Cop, Good Cop.""
- S7E127
Jeff Foxworthy, Vertical Horizon
Apr 24, 2000Paul says his 86-year-old father, Bernard Shaffer, had a quintuple bypass yesterday and later Bruce Kapler admits that his dad had a mere double bypass a year ago. Also, Dave stops the show to read the latest issue of Oprah's magazine.
- S7E128
Kristin Johnson, Live
Apr 25, 2000After discussing Oprah's magazine on and off for the last few weeks, Dave announces that the first issue of ""D,"" the Dave magazine, has finally been rolled out. Also, Alan interrupts ""Campaign 2000"" to announce he's been reunited with his fat German son.
- S7E129
Dennis Quaid, Nicole Sullivan, Smashing Pumpkins
Apr 26, 2000The INS captures and seizes Tony (twice); Purdue University basketball coach Gene Keady presents the Top Ten; The Smashing Pumpkins perform ""Blue Skies Bring Tears.""
- S7E130
Salma Hayek, Ray Romano
Apr 27, 2000The INS harasses Tony again; Rob Burnett appears live via satellite from LA for ""Campaign 2000""; Alan and his fat, gender-confused German son celebrate Take Your Daughters to Work Day.
- S7E131
Natalie Portman, Lennox Lewis
Apr 28, 2000During Mailbag, Alan admits to doing the deed with Janet Reno; production assistant Jeremy Weiner is subjected to Paul's favorite game, ""Staffer/Not a Staffer""; David Wells and Bernie Williams present the Top Ten.
- S7E132
David Spade, Marion Jones
May 1, 2000Jimmy Webb and Glen Campbell sit in; Dave announces the blood test following last week's tick incident came out negative; in homage to a trend that sweeping various TV shows nowadays, ""Campaign 2000"" is shown in letterbox; independent film maker Mark Borchardt presents his interview with former Presidential candidate Gary Bauer.
- S7E133
Kim Basinger, Oasis
May 2, 2000Live via satellite, we go to Preston Luggage in Dallas for another lengthy chat with Al Cordova and his assistant Kathy. Also, during ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria Pope introduces Rob Burnett, who walks onstage to a standing ovation.
- S7E134
Dana Carvey, Alison Krauss & Union Station
May 3, 2000Dave honors ""Great Bald Men throughout History"" (him, Paul, and Dwight D. Eisenhower), while we watch the latest round of ""Biff Henderson's Fun with a Stopwatch.""
- S7E135
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Mitch Hedberg
May 4, 2000Julia Louis-Dreyfus sings a song from West Side Story, and Jerry Seinfeld shows up to ""sing"" with her. Also, Dave shows footage of a woman dropping a bowling ball on her husband's noggin.
- S7E136
Stupid Human Tricks, Joaquin Phoenix, Mighty Mighty Bosstones
May 5, 2000Dave announces he was pulled over for speeding again, then kisses up to the New York State police; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Dave sings the praises of Tivo; ten jockeys present the Top Ten.
- S7E137
Betty White, Hanson
May 8, 2000Apparently, Michelle O'Calaghan had another baby over the weekend; Dave says he's been called to jury duty, prompting a brief state of panic; during another ""What's New"" segment, Pat and Kenny attempt to recite Shakespeare; a morbidly obese man is introduced as the winning jockey of last weekend's Kentucky Derby.
- S7E138
John Travolta, Cast of Kiss me Kate
May 9, 2000Dave continues to comment on the jury duty situation; the outside cam heads for Joe G's to play ""Would You Like To Win a Phony Check for 350 Million Dollars?""; after three years of struggling, Rob Burnett finally shows footage of his daughters not being afraid of the Easter Bunny.
- S7E139
Kelsey Grammer, Caroline Rhea
May 10, 2000Dave shows a CNN clip and a newspaper article pertaining to the jury duty controversy; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Paul admits he had a nightmare involving Maria Pope; Caroline Rhea discusses relationships.
- S7E140
Kathie Lee Gifford, Debra Messing
May 11, 2000Kathie Lee Gifford discusses her pending departure from her talk show, then ""sings"" ""Love Never Fails.""
- S7E141
Richard Simmons, Sarah Vowell
May 12, 2000Rob and Dave go over the ground rules for Richard Simmons' latest visit tonight, including permission to use a fire extinguisher on Richard if needed; during Mailbag, Dave becomes pen-pals with viewer Tyler Gatlin; ten celebrity moms (including Gerard and Dorothy) present the Top Ten, though it wouldn't become a yearly tradition until 2002.
- S7E142
Gillian Anderson, Foo Fighters
May 15, 2000Peter Frampton fills in for Felicia Collins, who had a gig; Paul mentions that Anton is getting married over this coming weekend; Rob announces that Ed has officially been picked up for NBC's fall schedule.
- S7E143
David Hyde Pierce, Phish
May 16, 2000Dave mangles the song ""Memory,"" while Rupert and Tony Randall are invited to ""Campaign 2000"" but have absolutely nothing worth saying.
- S7E144
Hugh Grant, Carly Simon
May 17, 2000Campaign 2000: Dave mentions the final episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, which proceeds into another one of Alan's crying jags.
- S7E145
Jackie Chan, Jim Gaffigan
May 18, 2000A man pretending to be Les Moonves delivers a Murder, She Wrote to Dave; the retirement of longtime White House press corps member Helen Thomas is discussed, so Dave shows a gag reel showing memorable moments of her career dating back to 1492; Dave promotes tomorrow night's bowling ball stunt.
- S7E146
Ringo Starr, Jane Krakowski
May 19, 2000Dave announces that this is the season finale; Dave and Maria bid farewell to Rob Burnett, who will now be busy at work with Ed; Tonya Smith drops a bowling ball on the head of Ken Richmond from 12 feet above the stage; Ringo Starr and the All-Starr Band sing ""With a Little Help from My Friends.""
- S7E147
Michael J. Fox, Richard Harris
May 22, 2000Dave has problems adjusting the lumbar of his chair; Maria Pope brags about sleeping 21 hours straight; Michael J. Fox discusses his health-related ""retirement"" from television.
- S7E148
Earvin 'Magic' Johnson, matchbox 20
May 23, 2000Buzz Aldrin interviews this year's nominees for the Daytime Emmys in a spacesuit; Mujibur and Sirajul make a basketball wager with Rupert; Dave flips through a furniture catalog; Matchbox Twenty performs ""Crutch"" out on the sidewalk.
- S7E149
Nathan Lane, Gloria Estefan
May 24, 2000James Earl Jones reads excerpts from Richard Simmons' new autobiography; ""Biff Henderson's America"" spends a couple of days in Calhoun, Missouri; a man pretending to be Les Moonves promotes the new game show Survivor while dressed up as Moses.
- S7E150
Sarah Jessica Parker, Penn & Teller
May 25, 2000""Biff's Fun with a Stopwatch"" goes to a Pacers playoff game, during which he shoplifts, then harasses a fat guy.
- S7E151
Dan Patrick, Owen Wilson, B.B. King
May 26, 2000Dave drops his flipped pencil; during Mailbag, ""Bob Knight"" (Gerard) cannibalizes one of his players; Dave discusses his new chair.
- S7E153
Lisa Kudrow, Tom Dreesen, Steve Earle and the Dukes
Jun 6, 2000Dave makes his first-ever comments on the CBS' latest hit Survivor, and then brings up jury duty again, exclaiming ""Some dudes will be going down!""
- S7E154
Robert Duvall, Don Henley
Jun 7, 2000Dave says Campaign 2000 is ""largely void of content, (and) just a big waste of time."" During tonight's segment, however, Paul openly wishes that they would use his name as a clue on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Also, Alan gives tips for summer safety, which quickly morphs into an excuse to rip off his shirt and pour suntan lotion all over his body.
- S7E155
Roger Ebert, Nia Long
Jun 8, 2000Dave introduces Paul as Wayne ""Fat Boy"" Ewing; in honor of Survivor, George Clarke locks himself in the boiler room with nothing but a video camera and some rations, and eventually ends up chewing his arm off; Biff reports from Game 1 of the NBA Finals in Los Angeles.
- S7E156
Martin Lawrence, Sinead O'Connor
Jun 9, 2000Paul hosts a game called ""Staffer / Not a Staffer,"" in which Dave must guess if the person onstage is one of his underlings. He correctly guesses that it is a staffer; talent researcher Nick Prueher. Also, Maria Pope discusses a recent trip to Hooters.
- S7E157
Jimmy Connors, David Coulthard
Jun 12, 2000Dave announces that he's fulfilled his jury duty up in Connecticut (he didn't make the cut); George Clarke continues to hold on for dear life in the boiler room; Biff visits the NBA Finals in LA; Maria and Paul offer their condolences to Dave.
- S7E158
Marv Albert, Heath Ledger, Bon Jovi
Jun 13, 2000Pat Farmer fixes Dave's chair; during an outside cam bit involving the CBS Store and a new electronics shop next door, Tony Randall is found standing on the roof for no particular reason; the 2000 Stanley Cup Champion New Jersey Devils walk onstage for ""Campaign 2000,"" then hang out at the CBS Store.
- S7E159
Calista Flockhart, Isaac Hayes
Jun 14, 2000Dave announces the birth of Kathy Mavrikakis' daughter; George Clarke is now trapped in the boiler room with two prostitutes, and then declares himself a ""Volcano God""; Isaac Hayes conducts an orchestra performing the theme from Shaft.
- S7E160
Naomi Campbell, Juan Montoya
Jun 15, 2000An old man (not Calvert) shuffles his feet onstage at the end of the monologue, then walks away; for Campaign 2000, Maria introduces Stacey Stillman, the first Survivor loser to appear on the Late Show; Dave tastes Naomi Campbell's new shower gel.
- S7E161
Stupid Pet Tricks, Jimmy Kimmel, Billy Bragg & Wilco
Jun 16, 2000Laurie Diamond brings Dave a new cup of coffee after someone steals his mug; during Mailbag, Gerard comments on Survivor; during ""Stupid Pet Tricks,"" Dave accidentally steps on dog's tail and gets bitten on the face.
- S7E163
Mark Wahlberg, The Deftones
Jun 20, 2000Paul Rodgers of Bad Company sits in on vocals; after Dave worries about possible civil disobedience in downtown LA after the Lakers' NBA Championship, Harold Larkin opens the door to reveal rioting outside the theater; Mark Wahlberg promotes The Perfect Storm.
- S7E164
Dana Carvey, No Doubt
Jun 21, 2000Dave shows a (phony) tape of Tiger Woods disintegrating opponents' balls with his laser eyes; during Campaign 2000, ""Rita Buttgas"" (Jude Brennan) returns to celebrate the one-year anniversary of her $100 victory on ""Alan's Secret Word"" and discusses the hardships she's had since her fleeting fame fizzled; Dana Carvey and Dave share stories about their heart problems.
- S7E165
Samuel L. Jackson, P.J. Ollson
Jun 22, 2000George continues to hold on to dear life in the boiler room; ""non-surviving Survivor"" Ramona Gray interrupts ""Campaign 2000""; PJ Olsson performs ""Visine.""
- S7E166
Piedmont Bird Callers, Keenan Ivory Wayans
Jun 23, 2000Dave demonstrates troubles with newscasters who look at the wrong camera by moving his head every five seconds; during Mailbag, Biff chats with (pre-recorded) footage of Shaquille O'Neal; Worldwide Pants production assistant Allison Abbate is the latest to be subjected to ""Staffer- Not a Staffer.""
- S7E167
Tom Brokaw, Eric Idle
Jun 26, 2000Dave repeats the footage of the dog bite from last week, now claiming that a ""wild dingo"" gave him rabies; Dave says George W. Bush is ""(as) dumb as a box of tools""; after his interview, Tom Brokaw walks straight back to Rockefeller Center.
- S7E168
James Belushi, Third Eye Blind
Jun 27, 2000Dave confesses that he has a slight crush on British news anchor Daljit Dhaliwal. Later, Alan interrupts Dave to congratulate the genetics scientists for cracking the genetic code, then offers ""specimens"" for the lady researchers.
- S7E169
Martha Stewart, Travis
Jun 28, 2000Ted Nugent sits in; Dave rants about the ""wild island sex"" on Survivor; Martha Stewart arrives onstage on a red, white and blue bike, then gives The Nuge a guitar case made entirely of pinecones.
- S7E170
George Clooney, Warren Zevon
Jun 29, 2000Maria tells Dave that newscaster/hottie Daljit Dhaliwal has been booked for next week, while Dave announces that he's doing a favor for a cop who stopped him for speeding recently by having him appear on the show. Also, Dave and Survivor loser Dirk Been comment on how everybody's losing weight on the show except Richard Hatch.
- S7E171
Jay Thomas, David Sedaris
Jun 30, 2000Dave brags that he's going to a gin n' tonic party after the show to look for some babes; during Mailbag, Biff blows Dan Rather's head off; a social worker named Lauren is the first real decoy to appear on ""Staffer- Not a Staffer.""
- S7E172
Tom Arnold, Brian Wilson
Jul 3, 2000Dave plays the tapes of the dog bite and the deer attack yet again; during Campaign 2000, Maria introduces Dave to a First Mate in the US Navy, and 200 sailors from the USS Nassau storm the stage right afterward; Brian Wilson and Friends perform ""Sloop John B.""
- S7E173
National Hollerin' Champions, Skye McCole Bartusiak
Jul 4, 2000Dave introduces the ""Late Show Liberty Dancers""; live via telephone, the owner of a nearby fireworks shop shoots explosives; the finalists of this year's National Hollerin' Championship perform onstage.
- S7E174
Ellen Degeneres, Sheryl Crow & Steve Earle
Jul 5, 2000The ""Liberty Dancers"" are rechristened ""The 5th of July Dancers""; an audience guy with a very distinctive goatee is the subject of a reality show-themed Top Ten; Dave bullies Tony into promoting his self-titled internet program.
- S7E175
Daljit Dhaliwal, Shawn Wayans
Jul 6, 2000Dave finally meets Daljit Dhaliwal, who seems more interested in discussing world affairs then responding to Dave's thinly-veiled flirting. Also, Shawn Wayans promotes Scary Movie.
- S7E176
Jason Alexander, Tracy Chapman
Jul 7, 2000Pat and Kenny replace Dave's chair; Dave welcomes Sgt. John Best of the Marshall (Texas) Police Department as the new co-host of the show; Jerry Foley appears on ""Staffer- Not a Staffer"" and nearly stumps Dave.
- S7E177
Bruce Willis, Elliot Smith
Jul 17, 2000Dave asks the viewers at home to have a nice, tasty beverage while they watch the show; Survivor tenth-place finisher Gretchen Cordy drops by; Elliott Smith performs ""Somebody That I Used to Know.""
- S7E178
Marilu Henner, Dixie Chicks
Jul 18, 2000Live from the theater basement, it's ""Let's Look for Rats."" The piece gets off to a slow start, until Alan runs downstairs to scare them into appearing on camera.
- S7E179
Will Ferrell, Ben Folds Five
Jul 19, 2000Dave continues to refer to Paul as Wayne ""Fat Boy"" Ewing; Alan shows Dave photos from his recent vacation; Maria confirms that Al Gore's interested in being a guest on the show; Ben Folds Five (in their last TV appearance) performs ""Regrets.""
- S7E180
Jeff Daniels, Bob Sarlatte
Jul 20, 2000Continuing with a running gag that started the previous week, Dave shows a ""Anna Kournikova Play of the Day"" (footage of her drinking a water bottle), followed by similar clips from Don Zimmer and Larry King. Also, Gerard impersonates Survivor loser Greg Buis (who was sick) for a spirited chat during ""Campaign 2000.""
- S7E181
Jon Stewart, Lucy Pearl
Jul 21, 2000Dave trims off half of his tie; Alan has a crying jag over Kathie Lee Gifford's departure from her daytime talk show; Dave and Jon Stewart discuss politics.
- S7E182
Harrison Ford
Jul 24, 2000Pat and Kenny play Frisbee on the roof; the latest roll call introduces us to such people behind-the-scenes as Tony Mendez's puppet-master, Dave's fiancé and Paul's girlfriend (the same woman), and a staffer who's still living in his Y2K bunker; Dave suggests that a proposed Bush-Gore debate on the show will utilize Jai Alai scoring.
- S7E183
Don Rickles, Ween
Jul 25, 2000Dave suggests that someone on the staff is messing around with his chair; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria Pope tells Dave that there has been no word from the Bush camp; George Plimpton reads the new Harry Potter book, but not aloud; Ween performs ""Even If You Don't.""
- S7E184
Kathie Lee Gifford, Bev Tanner
Jul 26, 2000A new controversy brews as Dave claims he's going to dust his chair for ""ass prints""; Harold Larkin is attacked by a giant can of Off! bug spray; Kathie Lee Gifford receives a farewell present from Dave.
- S7E185
Connie Chung, Harry Hill
Jul 27, 2000An audience member names all ten of her grandkids; the entire theater is filled with mosquito spray; Kathie Lee returns to present the Top Ten.
- S7E186
Roseanne, David Gray
Jul 28, 2000Dave hits Alan with a baseball bat; a blonde woman pretending to be Kathie Lee says goodbye forever to Dave; David Gray performs ""Babylon.""
- S7E187
Edie Falco, Macy Gray
Jul 31, 2000Dave shows (bogus) footage of a guy with defibrillator paddles standing near Dick Cheney during a television interview. Later, Macy Gray sings ""I Try.""
- S7E188
Nathan Lane, John Pizzarelli Trio
Aug 1, 2000During ""Campaign 2000,"" Tony Randall botches a comedy piece. Later, Nathan Lane talks about his dog and sings.
- S7E189
Joy Philbin, Joe Lockhart
Aug 2, 2000Alan goes berzerk and chases a man outside. Later, Dave chats with President Clinton's press secretary Joe Lockhart.
- S7E190
Al Roker, Craig Ferguson
Aug 3, 2000Maria introduces Dave to ""Survivor"" contestant Gervase Peterson. Later, NBC weatherman Al Roker promotes his new book.
- S7E191
Darrell Hammond, Todd Rundgren
Aug 4, 2000During CBS Mailbag, Mujibur and Sirajul debate ""Do you like monkeys?"", which results in a lengthy fistfight. Later, after another one of Inky Mendez's tantrums, we see an ad for ""Dave and Tony's How to Rant In Spanish"" educational videotape.
- S7E192
Tom Selleck, Jordan
Aug 7, 2000For no apparent reason, the CEO of Qualcomm presents Dave with a check for $25,000. Later, Dave chats with Jean Jordan, the stripper-turned-writer who was eliminated from ""Big Brother 1.""
- S7E193
Al Franken, Guster
Aug 8, 2000""The Late Show Iron Chef"" pits Rupert Jee against Joe G. Rupert wins decisively with his chicken rollatini.
- S7E194
Sam Donaldson, Kid Rock
Aug 9, 2000Biff goes outside to count sweaty people; during ""Campaign 2000,"" Alan interrupts Maria with a soulful rendition of ""Send in the Clowns.""
- S7E195
Jennifer Lopez, Reggie Jones
Aug 10, 2000Paul joins Dave for ""Know Your Jewish U.S. Senators."" During ""Campaign 2000,"" Maria introduces Dave to ""Survivor I"" runner-up Colleen Haskell.
- S7E196
Vince Vaughn, Eels
Aug 11, 2000Vince Vaughn promotes ""The Cell,"" while Maria expresses her optimism in a possible debate between George W. Bush and Al Gore right here on the show.